I believe I’ve come to the point in my life where I now choose not to suffer neurotics any longer. The variety of neurosis that I will no longer allow to irk me are those with folks who are overly and unnecessarily sensitive, obsessive, constantly tense and anxious, and take everything personally. If you express an opinion they’ll take it as if you are contesting theirs. If you share an idea they’ll find it necessary to challenge it in case it appears that they have none – which after awhile manifests itself clearly they really had and have none. If you express a disgruntlement they’ll get their knickers in a twist as if they were included in your dissatisfaction. Essentially, they’ll always find the need to engage their defense mechanisms even though there was no indication or intention of an attack.
I have a maid that encapsulates neurosis not only by taking things personally but also has a personality steeped in self-pity. Talk about double trouble!. If I ask her about things missing she’ll get into sad-frail-pitiful-old-lady mode and make it like I’m accusing her for being responsible for the item’s disappearance – which if it were true would mean that I have actually once accused a frail old lady of consuming a box of imported cigars.
But that neurosis I’ll have to bear for the sake of laundry and a clean home. It is the neurosis of others that can be just so exasperating. A notable annoyance is when you share a thought about something, and they question that thought with an alternative, but if you ask what it is about that alternative, they’ll say that they don’t know. It means that they will not agree with you by means of a contradictory stand of which they have no idea about. Here’s an example of what that means based on a situation that actually happened. I stated that I do not know any credible local intellectuals. The immediate response was, what about Professor Ungku Aziz. I reiterate that since I do not know Professor Ungku Aziz hence it’s consistent with what I said that I do not know any local intellectuals, but I was intrigued so I asked about him. But the answer I got was, the person did not know anything about the professor either. So what was that? You disagree with someone based on something you do not know yourself? Why disagree at all? Why the immediate negative response? And how did that conversation continue after that? Well, it didn’t, because since I do not know about that professor than my original statement is not valid despite the person not knowing about him either. End of conversation.
That’s happened often enough and it’s such a killjoy because it inhibits any potential for an interesting conversation. You throw out a thought to talk about, but instead of exchanging on that thought, neurotics find the need to challenge it immediately even if they have no or minuscule knowledge of it. It’s as if, if they could not contribute or expand on it, they would rather not be engaged in it due to their neurosis in the fear of any sign that would indicate inferiority on their part.
Even if such neurotics agree with you, it can get just as tiresome. If you have points of which they think they’re familiar with, they will take over those points into situations about themselves and the conversation from then onwards will be about them and those points. If you had an underlying objective for bringing up those points, forget it. They’ll soon go off into tangents about those points till you end up no wiser than when you brought it all up. For instance, let’s say I bring up this topic of neurosis in conversation. Rather than take the charitable approach of grasping the points first of what I’m bringing up, they’ll just launch as soon as they can into a tirade of how they know what I’m talking about by association with their own experiences, followed by the exclusivity of said experiences which means that they’ve known it all along and no one can touch them on the matter thus they are above those with neurosis, and they will then run in overdrive into areas that have absolutely no bearing with your intentions for bringing it up in the first place.
Which reminds me, what really is the underlying objective for me to bring this whole matter up in the first place? Oh yes, it’s to make it known that, if you find me no longer sharing thoughts or avoiding any engaging conversations with you, then chances are you are one of those with the neurosis I’m going on about.
In which case, sorry. As we all say, life’s too short.